What is Bullying?

Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Some bullies operate by saying nasty things about other people, leaving some people out of activities, not talking to them, threatening them, making them feel uncomfortable or scared, taking or damaging their things, hitting or kicking them, or making them do things they don't want to do.

Bullying is against the school rules in every school and should be reported to a teacher or another adult in the school. Schools take bullying very seriously. Even if a person thinks they've solved the problem on their own, they should tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again. An adult the young person can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from his or her family or a friends parent. If he or she finds it difficult to talk about being bullied, he or she might find it easier to write down what's been happening to them, and give it to an adult they trust.

Why do some people like to bully others?

There are a lot of reasons why some people bully. They may see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge. Some people bully to get attention or things, or to make other people afraid of them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may be being bullied themselves. Some bullies don't understand how damaging their behaviour is and how it makes the person being bullied feel.

What can you do if you are being bullied?

Coping with bullying can be difficult, but remember, the one being bullied is not the problem, the bullying behaviour is the problem and has to be stopped. Wherever a person is, bullying behaviour is not acceptable and a rule has been broken. There's always someone who has the responsibility to ensure that people are safe and secure. If a child is being bullied, he or she should always talk over what to do with a friend, a teacher, their mum or dad, or an adult they can trust.

What does it feel like to be bullied by someone?

Bullying hurts. It makes a person scared and upset. It can make them so worried that they can't work well at school. Some children skip school to get away from it. It can make them feel that they are no good, that there is something wrong with them. Bullies can make other people feel that it's their fault.

What to do if you see a person being bullied?

Don't ignore bullying when you see it. . . never allow a bully to get away with thinking that no-one will do anything.
If you see someone else being bullied, the best way to help is to tell an adult or your teacher if it is occurring at school. If you take no action, you are saying that bullying is OK.
Where possible you should show the person bullying that what they're doing is unfair and harmful to the person being bullied.

Anyone can offer assistance
Don't take on the bully- this may only aggravate the situation. As well as not being a safe thing to do, you don't want to have to resort to bullying tactics yourself.
Let a teacher or other adult know about the situation.
Try to be friendly to the person being bullied.
Refuse to join in the bullying.
Being kind to the person bullying can sometimes help stop the bullying behaviour, but even if it isn't possible to be friends always try to be friendly.
If you are worried or concerned about a bully you should discuss it with a your teacher or an adult.

. . . for parents and carers

Some indicators of your child being bullied include . . .

	The child becomes unusually withdrawn and quiet.
	An abnormal amount of dirty or torn clothing.
	A reluctance to go to school or after school activities.
	A displayed fear of a particular certain group or person.
	Unusual changes in a childs behaviour.
	Noticeable changes in the childs sleeping patterns.

Is your child is teasing or bullying other children?

Avoid labeling a child a bully, this only reinforces the idea that they can't control their own behaviour.
Try to help your child understand why they bully others - explore certain situations where they may feel like bullying.
Focus on how your child behaves and responds to others - help them develop and use their power of choice responsibly.

Children bully others for a number of reasons . . .
It makes them feel powerful.
They may think they are more acceptable to peer group or another child.
From a poor family environment or from a peer authority figure, they have assumed that bullying is acceptable.
It may be their only way of expressing feelings of fear, anxiety or jealously.
They have problems communicating with others on a "one to one" basis.

Discuss with your child situations in which they are likely to bully others.
Try to help your child understand their feelings . . . at the time they are bullying and after bullying.

Help your children find alternative things to do or say instead of teasing or bullying others.
Reinforcing your childs power to choose their behaviour will help them increase their feelings of confidence, self-esteem and ability.
Introduce ideas that increase your childs ability relate more positively with others.

If your child continues to bully others or displays harmful behaviour you should seek professional advice.
A counselor can be of great help not only the child, but can also assist the family in dealing with the situation.