JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS


TALKING TO YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT DRUGS
Parents need to realise that just like smoking or drinking, trying a type of drug or alcohol does not necessarily mean that your child is a drug addict or an alcoholic. If you do find out that your child has experimented with drugs or alcohol, the key is not to panic, but to use this opportunity to open up the lines of communication.

STRATEGIES TO AVOID WHEN DISCUSSING DRUGS & ALCOHOL
Accusing/interrogating the young person of drug addiction.
This will only make the young person defensive and make them clam up, as it reinforces their belief that parents don't understand what it's like to be a teenager.
Lecturing or judging the young person.
Lecturing is a form of ordering them not to do things and it is a one-sided argument which does not give the young person any opportunity to express their feelings, concerns or contribute to a discussion.
Forbidding the young person.
Forbidding the young person from taking drugs or alcohol and/or associating with a person you suspect is a negative influence, is a sort of challenge to actually do the opposite. It can make drugs and alcohol seem attractive.
Telling scary stories about drugs.
This can increase curiosity to try them. For example, a 'Wet Paint' sign: when told not to touch the wet paint, what would the majority of people do? Touch it to test if it is really wet!

WHAT YOUNG PEOPLE WANT FROM PARENTS

* To understand that they need to make up their own minds and decisions about things.
* To be interested in their life, but respect their privacy.
* Trust them
* Support them when needed
* Give advice and opinion when asked (without a lecture).
* Have reasonable rules.
* Understand that their friendships are important to them.

SOME THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN DISCUSSING DRUGS
Be honest
Approach your teenager or child in an open, honest way. Tell them exactly what you want to discuss and why. Your honesty will, most often, encourage an honest response from the teenager. Do not pretend to know everything about the subject. In fact, admitting as much will give you a better chance of communicating with your teenager.
Avoid contradiction
Be prepared to discuss your own legal drug use - i.e. smoking and drinking and past illegal drug use, or perhaps your own drinking as a teenager. It is vital that you do not pretend that you never did experiment Ä unless it truly was not an experience for you - and at the same time to recognise that your experiences are different to those of your teenager and not to compare their behaviour to yours in a negative way.
Listen to their point of view
Young people need you to listen and understand, not to lecture and ridicule. Communication is a two-way stream, if you do not listen to them, they will not listen to you. Young people have their own opinions and needs and you must acknowledge this fact as well as accept that their needs and/or wants differ from yours.

SOME THINGS PARENTS CAN DO
Become informed about drugs
Educate yourself about the issues before you attempt to educate your child or teenager. Once you have an understanding of the issues, you can approach your teenager or child in an informed, sensible manner. By presenting yourself as a source of information and support, you create an opportunity for your child or teenager to approach you. However, it is vital to stress that you do not present yourself as an authority on the subject, even if you are.
Build up your relationship with your child
A family is supposed to be a caring, supportive, safe unit which will protect and nurture its members. Spending time with your child or teenager and ensuring they know that you do care about them is essential. Parents need to realise that caring does not mean controlling and that young people and children will eventually declare their independence.
Helping with problem solving and decision making
Young people will be forced, at one time or another, to make decisions for themselves. Some of these decisions might only relate to how they spend their time, but others might relate to the kind of person they want to be. Whatever the case, parents need to realise that young people need to learn to make these decisions and should be there to assist with providing their children with the tools to deal with decision making. Furthermore, young people need to accept responsibility for part, or all of their own lives at some point. They will also want to claim their independence, and being prepared is therefore essential.

SELF ESTEEM

Feeling wanted, cared for, respected and worthwhile are emotions most people wish for, young people especially because of the changes in their young adult lives. These beliefs stem from the people closest to them, i.e.. family, friends, schoolmates, and they are vital ingredients in having self esteem.

Parents can help with building a young person's self-esteem by praising their efforts, supporting their needs, trusting them and aiding them to feel positive by telling them they are loved and involving them in important family matters.

ALTERNATIVES
Explore different ways of dealing with pressure, stress and unhappiness with your family. It is important for all people to have an outlet to release frustration or upset. Encourage everyone to use other ways to relax or deal with difficulties. You can do this through brainstorm sessions with individual members of the family, or as a group and plan strategies to follow if certain situations occur. This is also another great way to communicate not only with your teenager, but the entire family unit. If you have difficulty with these matters, you should seek professional advice.

ADVICE & HELP
If you believe that your teenager or friend is taking drugs or is endangering their health through excessive smoking or drinking, seek professional advice for more information and help. Drug and alcohol problems are complex so do not feel that you have to deal with them on your own. There are many places to go for help at any time of the day.

POSITIVE INFLUENCES
It is important to have positive influences whilst growing up, because most young people are looking for someone to look up to as a model. That is why it is important for parents to encourage positive influences in their children's lives. These may be a healthy lifestyle and sport; artistic activities; intellectual stimulation; friendships. The list is endless and depends on what the individual's interests are. Parents need to get to know those interests. Without this knowledge, communication will fail.
DRUGS . . .